How many questions come to mind when you see this title? How do we make our dating and relationship choices? How much do we compromise yet not lose ourselves? When do you know when you have made the right choice?
These are all questions we have no matter our age but its a very real truth that the older we get the harder these questions become when we try to answer. There is one thing that holds true across the board: There is no one right way. We have to consider so many things to find a partner match. Its so much more than loving each other or great sex. Unfortunately so many base their whole relationship on these two items as if they will conquer all issues that come up in life! How misguided we have become to be a product of the “love conquers all” and “all we need is love” and “but its the best sex I have ever had” slogans and sayings. These are all candy coated things the media and entertainment and retail sales have led us to believe.
How do you truly know and walk thru the process?
Communication is the very first key to ANY relationship and a romantic, life partner kind of relationship is even more crucial to have on point. This includes talking about what each other needs regarding emotional and stressful situations or happy and celebrating moments. If your partner can not be there for these basic things it will lead to more serious issues down the road including feeling neglected. Now these needs look different for everyone and there is no cookie cutter formula. Communication includes responding to texts, answering the phone, checking on your partner throughout the day and being on the same page with schedules to name the basic few. How many texts and phone calls, details of schedules and your day is up to you to communicate to each other your needs. Instead of getting upset and starting a fight when they can not do this you should instead have a conversation of what they are willing to do and compromise to see if you can find common ground. If you are still not able to receive what you need from your partner then you may not have a good match and need to part ways so you can both find a partner that can be on the same page.
In my opinion goals in life are a also a very important aspect that should match.
Is marriage something that you both want or dont want? Is retirement a heavy goal or are you both happy with the pace you are working currently? How much do you both work? What kind of time do you need and want to spend with kids and family? How much do you both want to travel? Where do you both want to live? This includes location and do you get a new place or one moves in with the other? Are your religious and political beliefs similar? Are your financial planning for future goals and your current situation on the same page?
Life as we get older is much more integrated and can be more complicated to add a partner. Communication is so important because working thru the next part of your goals in life and everything that comes with it can feel like a mediation of sorts. This is merely the next steps to determine if you can live a life together. Being open to walk away for your happiness is much different than being quick to run and end the relationship. Know your worth is also knowing yourself and what you need and want. Discovering this as well as healing from your previous relationships while trying to date will lead you down paths that can cause more harm than good.
Get yourself healthy and solid. This is when you will be open for the best match for you.
DaisyVine 