My parents are a bit on the religious side of the equation. They raised my brother and I the best they saw fit, provided the best they could and prepared us for independence the best they saw fit. This is what all parents do in raising their children. My parents are teachers and therefore have different requirements in the home. Growing up my dad dealt with high school students all day and didn’t want to deal with us when he got home. He expected us to behave perfect and never get out of line. His tolerance level was very limited. My mother on the other hand was very sheepish and afraid to state her opinions on anything ranging from her childrens discipline to financial matters. Over the years she has slowly learned to stand up for what she wants but its taken awhile to make any progress and there are far more hurdles for her to take on than she likes to admit. She has unfortunately mastered passive aggressiveness and taught me the wrong way to handle things accordingly. My mother would comfort us and take on damage control after the reign of my father had swept through. He was a workaholic and was rarely home. We were primarily raised by our mother.
Religion
There was a strict religious theme in the house which stretched to the music we listened to and the clothes we wore to the movies we watched and every other facet in life. We were in church when the doors were open and attended school unless we were almost to the point we should be in the hospital. I learned early on to depend on my friends for most everything emotional and such. My parents were only there for me when they agreed with what I was doing. Therefore I went to my friends or anything else to provide help and answers.
School
My senior year in high school I wanted to go to my best friends house to study for finals. We actually studied together and it helped a lot. I was told I was to study on my own and couldn’t leave to get help. I was so upset and felt so betrayed because I simply wanted to finish the best for me. I rarely studied for anything and was trying to end on as high a note as possible at the last of the year so I left and stayed with a girlfriend for almost a week. Needless to say this was not the best emotional environment to study. It was not in the best of neighborhoods. She had to walk with me to and from my car and her brother was the local drug dealer to name a few of the obstacles but I felt safe there since no one messed with him or his family. I had submersed myself into church as my getaway and independence. My dad ended up coming up to the church I attended to inform me to come home. Not really the best way to convince your child that felt betrayed.
Ongoing
Even though I was in church they disapproved of the church I had chosen to attend through high school and after and proceeded to make it clear regularly. There was no support whatsoever. Eventually I started dating and found a guy in church but he wasn’t good enough since he had been married before and had a child. He wasn’t good for me but they focused so much on the outwardly that I stayed with him being unable to know how to see the difference. This began a horrible pattern of making relationship decisions. I ended up getting kicked out of the house because they found out we were having sex. I was 19 by now and I’m not sure where else my dad thought I was going to live so of course I moved in with my boyfriend. They proceeded to not talk to me and I was not invited to anything as long as he was going to come with me so that meant never. This lasted 2 of the 4 years we were together before they started talking to me again. I ultimately was engaged to him but broke it off on my own.
DaisyVine 